So I know that this phrase was originally used to reference the Jonestown Massacre, as a way of describing the "buying in" process it takes to think along the lines a cult wants you to, but lately I feel like its usage has broadened to mean a more general "buying in" of all kinds of ideas, lifestyles, attitudes, etc. And even if this phrase is not so general these days, well that is still how I have been thinking about it.
I have been thinking about it with regards to my experience in the Navy and what I want to do with my life afterward. Recently, I have felt particularly out of place; a round peg trying to fit into a square hole. I look around and see a fair amount of kool-aid drinking. "He's a dirtbag." "Don't be that guy." "You're talking to a chief. Of course you're wrong." Stuff like that. I would say the Navy is kind of cult-ish in many ways. There seems to be a conflation between being a good team member and giving up your personal identity. I know it is not truly this way, but the catch-phrases often seem to promote a subversion of critical thought in favor of aligning to military culture. By the way I just noticed that "culture" starts with the word "cult." Interesting. But in any case, I get it. It is important to follow procedure without questioning it, to trust that it has sound reasoning behind it, because in an emergency situation lives do depend on following one's training. And I feel those of us in the nuclear propulsion training pipeline have an exceptional degree of instruction in the rationale behind the procedures we will be following. The specific application of "Ship > shipmate > self" I feel is very important. It is the extraneous personality traits that I could do without. It is the attitude that I see many around me adopting that I feel is causing tension inside me, since I am not adopting it as well. I don't want to drink the kool-aid, I just want to do my job.
Funny enough, I had similar fears about zen buddhism at first. As Brad Warner writes in his blog, Tassajara (really any zen center, or similar type of place) can be kind of cult-ey in its own way, too. At first, I was really turned off by the apparent ethos of subverting thoughts of oneself as an individual, since "ego" is bad and we are all trying to awaken to "the true self," or whatever. I wondered (and asked) what the end goal was -- a totally homogenous bunch of zen zombies with no preferences or even the instinct of self-preservation? That's seriously how it seemed in certain lights. But I realize that is not true. Which is not to say there's no kool-aid at zen centers, either.
It occurs to me that whatever the thought process, narrative, or conceptualizations we are buying into in order to interact with the world around us, it still entails "buying in" -- it's all kool-aid. There is "Defend freedom! Kill the bad guys and terrorists!" and then there is "All experience is part of one buddha body." And then there is reality. But with our minds being what they are, concepts do arise and (maybe this only applies to a beginner like myself) narratives can be helpful in doing whatever we are doing. In a practice discussion while at Tassajara, a practice leader told me that we are always telling ourselves a story; but some stories are helpful and some are not. I like that. So here, I would say I think it is important to realize that one is always drinking kool-aid of some kind or another and to be careful about what kool-aid one drinks. I felt so happy when I found the narrative of zen because it just seemed so damned rational. I think the narrative of the Navy is useful, but it does not resonate for me in the same way that buddhism does. So for the time being I am sipping from my cup, smiling at the other nice people in matching track suits, then spitting it out and sipping from my zen flask. And I am doing this so I can learn more about the phenomenon of drinking kool-aid.
