Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Thoughts from Temporary Holding (Lessons Learned?)

     So after I graduated from boot camp, I had to spend two and a half more weeks on the base where they conduct boot camp in the Temporary Holding Unit.  We live in a barracks like the recruits do and eat at the galleys that recruits do, but we have many freedoms (like cell phones and liberty) which recruits do not have.  Ironically, though, I sometimes felt (and heard others express that they felt) that I/we would rather just still be in boot camp.  I was never completely serious, but it was still kinda funny (and honest).  I think the sentiment grew from the frustration at being treated less than we felt we should be.  This was a major observation I made again and again while I was in THU; comparing mind is a dependable source of suffering.  One example was already touched on: we would joke that at least in boot camp we got more PT (physical training... of course we also had a fitness room at our disposal 6 hours out of every day, but a bitchy sailor is a happy sailor).  Also, boot camp was more straightforward; in THU we were referred to on multiple occasions by several Petty Officers and Chiefs as "sailors in recruit status" as a way to describe the strange limbo we were in.  That brings me to the next example: in THU we had to jump through hoops to "earn" less priviliges than our counterparts who went directly to A-school were given straight away.  When we considered how few freedoms we had compared to how many our A-school buddies had (and how much more tedium we dealt with), we suffered.  And in my case, I suffered a lot -- often for long periods of time!  Usually it was helpful to consider that really, I didn't have it that bad: three meals a day, sufficient clothing and shelter, a large amount of free time...
     It often feels like that is the majority of zen practice -- re-framing our thoughts.  Yeah, I know.  Zen is about having no thoughts.  Or something like that.  So far, though, my experience has usually played out as follows: I notice that I am suffering.  I trace the root to some thoughts I am holding on to.  I pry my mind off these thoughts by using different thoughts... I substitute one "story" for another.  And unless I was mistaken, I'm pretty sure that was actually some advice from a venerable monk or two while I was at Tassajara.  Buddhism is a "story," but it is a very helpful story. (paraphrase)  For instance, we spent a lot of time in THU cleaning the ship: sweeping, mopping, wiping.  At Tassajara, we clean a lot too (except at zen monasteries it's called soji or samu, depending on if it's in the morning after service or some other time).  But when I was sweeping at Tassajara, I was thinking something like, "Look at me... being a real zen student... Oops I'm thinking! Let me use the activity of sweeping to practice no-mind... I wonder what's for lunch."  At THU (until I noticed this and reevaluated my thought process), I was thinking something like, "FUCK! I graduated boot camp! I should be at A-school learning my job, not cleaning the same shit over and over again!  How many times can I sweep the same ladderwell?!  I just KNOW Chief is gonna keep us like two hours after muster... There goes my liberty time!!"  I mean... I was doing the same thing generally speaking, what was really so different?  Oh yeah. My mind. 
     There are actually a lot of similarities between life in a monastery and life in the military.  At Tassajara, there is work meeting every morning.  In THU we muster and give out cleaning assignments.  Ceremony is very important to both communities:  zen centers ring the densho, strike the han... monks bow when entering the zendo, bow to each other.  Sailors salute the flag when the national anthom plays, "respectfully request to come aboard" a ship, salute officers... details perform the flag raising/lowering and other ceremonies.  In both communities there is a great deal of attention to detail.  Both recognize a greater meaning behind the garments they wear.  And in both communities, the day begins very early. :-)  Of course there are a lot of differences, too... How strange would it be if a teacher came up behind a student in a zendo, scolding, "Hey guy! Your meditation posture looks like shit!! Why don't you un-fuck yourself before I stick my kyosaku up your ass?!"  I think it would be more likely that the navy adopts non-violent communication across the board.  Though I don't imagine talk of destroying enemies will go away anytime soon.
    
     The last thought I had about Temporary Holding Unity is that (like everything else) it is/was temporary.  Whatever someone makes of it, it is not indefinite.  It may last a day, a few weeks, many months...  but it will not last forever.  It will pass.

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